Sandy and Kate were my 2nd grade best friends. It was my first year in public school and they accepted homeschooled seven-year-old me in their friend group (despite my embarrassing habit of crying every morning because I was afraid to leave my mom). We hung out at recess, sat beside each other at lunch and hung out at each other’s houses on the weekends.
We were the three Musketeers until the day of our “big” fight. Recess turned us from friends to foes as multiple messengers ran back and forth exchanging messages regarding who was no longer friends with who. Our friendship was officially declared over. This ending segued lots of tears and a trip straight to the school counselor’s office.
The school counselor, however, worked her magic and we were all friends and back in class within a few minutes. If only friendships stayed that easy…
A Book Review of Never Unfriended
Unfortunately they don’t. And I’ve been surprised the past several months of how few resources exist on the subject of friendship. It’s a key element in a female’s life, but for some reason we haven’t spent much time addressing it from a biblical perspective. Then a month or so ago when swiping through a few blogs on my lunch break – I came across a post by Lisa-Jo. Her words on friendship hit the nail on the head and I knew I had to order Never Unfriended!
In her book, Lisa-Jo comically captures some of the ridiculous thoughts and inner
struggles teenagers, young singles and moms have on the journey of friendship. She doesn’t back down from addressing the new challenges that come with picture perfect snapshots on Instagram and likes on Facebook and Twitter. She delves into our responsibility to initiate despite our knee jerk reaction that everyone except us has their friend group fully formed.
The bottom line is I LOVED this book! The book is a win in that it is not only encouraging but gives very practical suggestions on how you can trade cheap superficiality for rewarding community.
The Structure of Never Unfriended
Never Unfriended is broken down into three parts –
- What are we afraid of? – Addresses past hurts, fear of missing out and being new or being replaced by the new girl
- What can’t we do about it? – Addresses realistic expectations when it comes to friendships
- What can we do about it? – the SUPER practical section of the book! This section is worth the price of the book in itself.
5 Must Read Quotes from Never Unfriended
We have got to demote our social media status, our obsession with inclusion and our fear of missing out and get it OUT of the hallowed place. We have worshipped at the altar of inclusion when we were built to worship at the altar of the only living God.
Guilt-free friendship says that anytime you get back to me is a good time….Guilt-free friendship focuses on the friendship and ditches the guilt. Guilt-free friendship loves any chance and any slice of time to catch up…[it] is generous and forgiving and creates easy space for reconnecting because it doesn’t have any conditions for how or when or how often that happens.”
He understands my tender scabs where friendships have cut and where I haven’t been able to put things back together again…Knowing God is still walking with me, aching with me, understanding from the inside out the memories that can still disappoint, offering His Holy Spirit as a balm to soothe the wound and heal my mind.
This is the secret to finding and keep lasting friendships: become women who want to see the women around them flourish.
Sometimes what looks like an “inner ring” or a clique or an exclusive community might just be the ordinary work of faithful friendship.
You will want this book in your girls’ ministry library. It’s a gem and something you will share with girls for a long time!